She’s pulling away because you don’t know how to handle her. Fix this, or lose her.

Igor Aleksejevs
Jan 30
11 min read

I get it—you like women, and I do, too. What I like most is understanding the differences between the genders and how to work together to improve.

I will show you everything you need to know to understand your value as a man, attract the girl of your dreams, and build an incredible life together.

As a man, you are lost, and it’s not your fault.

Hollywood, your father or a lack of one, keeps feeding you fairytales about women that are not true. I want you to forget everything you have ever learnt and pay close attention to what I’m about to say.

Women are attracted to strength, not neediness. Neediness is the ultimate turnoff - Alpha male strategies ( AMS )

Women need your direction, and as a man, that is what you must do: direct.

It’s your job to read between the lines of what they try to feed you in terms of what you should and shouldn’t do.

The world will shame your testosterone and pacify you into a puppet to easily manipulate you. You must stay awake and aware of the games.

In this blog, I will give you everything your father didn't know about being a man.

The struggles I went through with women in my life

I’ve been the player and I’ve been played; I’ve experienced manipulation and I have manipulated in the past.

One thing I must say to you is you must get burnt to get better; there’s no other way.

I vividly remember my ex slamming a door on me and then locking me outside of her house in the middle of the night. I never saw it coming.

This was my first relationship, by the way, and I was 16. She had the nerve to ring me that same night to book her a taxi; the man I am today would laugh on that phone call and hang up.

I wanted to carry on impressing her; I guess this is why she used to walk all over me.

I also remember when I was in her apartment and she rang her ex to ask him to bring her cigarettes; wild, right? He did, while I was there, sat on her sofa. I’ve learnt a lot in that relationship, and I have never been the same ever since.

I saw what a woman is truly capable of when I was young, and I became bitter towards every girl I’ve met after her. Even if she was a nice girl, I was still traumatised by my ex.

A man on his purpose doesn’t have time to worry about validation from anyone else - Alpha male strategies ( AMS )

A Romanian girlfriend I’ve had was very polite and nice; I used to make her meet me whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted, paying for my food and transport.

During Christmas time, we exchanged gifts, and I decided not to see her ever again; yeah, I was not very nice.

I was getting with whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted, without feeling any guilt or remorse for my actions. I mean, what could I do? Girls always liked me.

Fast forward to today; I’m 28 and have experience when it comes to what to do and what not to do in a relationship. How to be a better gentleman and avoid being toxic.

There’s something you should know before we dive deeper...

If you don’t understand your role as a man, you will forever be stuck in a loop of being manipulated or used by toxic women.

You must know how to move as a man, what to focus on, and what not to do.

The better you equip yourself with knowledge, the higher quality of women will pursue you. The better you are, the better women you attract.

Be careful with the advice you take from other men; some have absolutely no clue what they are talking about.

If you remain blind, the way I used to be, the worse your experience will be with women. You must learn how to become and remain a high-value man; it’s the only way.

Build your value as a man and the world will reflect that value back to you - Rollo Tomassi

Everything you’ve been taught is NOT true.

-Women do not want to be chased

-Women do not want you to be out of shape

-Women do not want to lead

-Women do not want you to be weak

-Women do not want you to put them first instead of your purpose.

-Your role as a man is to become the best version of yourself.

You’re inviting a woman into your life, not the other way around. Your life must be meaningful, full of ambition, and future-orientated.

Men must become; women just are - Rollo Tomassi.

Understanding your role as a man in 3 steps

You invite a woman into your life, not the other way around
You are responsible for your woman’s happiness
You must provide for her, protect and care for her needs

You do not choose a woman; she chooses you.

Long gone are the days when men used to chase, even worse when they got rejected, so they chased EVEN more. A woman qualifies you for her lifestyle; if you suit her, she will let it be known.

Forget the 1980s movies where a man almost trips over a woman’s attention, showers her with flowers, and learns scripts to “win her over.” We live in modern times, and things changed.

Every single woman looks for security, protection, and provision.

Men must become; women just are

You develop yourself as a man; nothing will be given to you; do not expect any handouts. You must put the work in and improve every part of your life.

You must earn your respect, money, and love.

There is no love for a man if he cannot provide.

You will suffer, be confused, and burn out many times in life if you do what a man is supposed to do.

Nobody will understand your pain and frustrations, so do not seek pity.

On the contrary, your suffering is a blessing because it shapes you into a high-value man, if you can withstand the pressure that is.

Women give birth and make a house a home; that’s a blessing. Never forget that men have built the world, so be bold in everything you do because you deserve it.

Women want you to “get it” without having to explain it to you.

You see this too often when women are forced to become masculine with men due to them not understanding their role as men and what they should be doing.

Your woman wants you to become that guy that she looks at and has full trust in. She wants you to understand her needs and wants without explaining them to you.

You must learn what women want and need.

Your woman is a mirror of who you are

Women adopt your mentality, world views, and ambitions.

They look up to you to lead their thought struggles, and when their overthinking takes over ( it happens often.),

They want you to take the wheel of their emotions and steer towards a logical, long-term road.

A woman is always overthinking and gets swayed very easily by distractions and new trends. You must be grounded in your daily decisions, actions, and attitudes.

As a man, you are the captain of the ship, and women want you to lead in everything.

Make your woman happy by being a romantic, charismatic, and ambitious leader. She will make you happy and your life easier in return. Win-win for both of you.

Women are a symbol of beauty; men are a symbol of success

In simple terms, women are created to be beautiful, caring, and full of comfort. Men are created for conquering, protection, and provision.

You as a man are a creator, which means your mission is to create a world for your woman.

She must have trust in your mission and will constantly test you to ensure you’re not becoming complacent.

In a few words, your goal is to provide:

Experiences
Finances
Security
Safety
Support
Trust
Loyalty

Always remember that you two must complement each other’s lives, not make life harder. You are a team, working together to build something amazing.

Yes, being a good-looking man should be one of your missions; however, women care about being looked after in every aspect I’ve described in the above section.

Is the dad bod a turn-on for women?

I have heard countless women claim that a dad bod is "sexy." However, I have found this to be the biggest lie ever.

Your woman wants you to be in better physical shape than her; this shows that her having kids with you will most likely produce strong and healthy kids.

This is why women prefer taller men; it’s the DNA and the genes they care about. Women want to reproduce with healthy, strong, and taller men so their kids will have the same traits as the dad.

So a dad body is not what women want for their kids; what makes you think they want you to have that same body?

Another thing about dad-bods that women are unaware of is that the body fat of that man is higher than it needs to be.

This means that this man has excess Estrogen levels in his body ( estrogen is what makes women, women), which means he will be less masculine, which is a turn-off in the long run.

Why? Because the more feminine a man is, the less attractive he is in a woman’s eyes. On the contrary, the more testosterone you have, the more attractive all women perceive you.

Sacrifices you must make in a relationship

Boy oh boy you must make many I won’t sugarcoat this. If you’re not ready to give up a lot of your free time, do not enter a long-term relationship.

Women demand

Time

Care

Patience

Commitment.

Alongside your passions and other commitments, women will demand emotional attachments that you must fulfil. You become her best friend, lover and trusted companion who she will put as a priority in her life.

You must make time for all her needs and wants. You must plan dates and make random, unexpected gifts.

Be prepared to be called out for any destructive behaviours, traits and bad habits that you have. This can ruin relationships if you don’t come to a compromise or cut them out completely.

In reality, she is looking after herself and does not want to participate in any foolish addictions that you might have, can you blame her? No

Have a social life outside of your relationship

Women do not want you to be a couch potato, never leaving the house or socialising with other men. She wants you to have friends you can hang out with and be productive with.

You must be busy by having male friends outside of your relationship. Do not become stuck to your woman like glue, she will hate your guts over time.

You can do cool stuff with the boys on the weekends or go to the gym together with them after work.

The goal is to network with high-level individuals and make a good, ambitious circle of close friends. Your attraction level to your woman will increase drastically towards you.

The same goes for your woman, she needs to be allowed to see her girls; even if she’s going clubbing with them.

The biggest turn-off as woman can have is a jealous man, who blows up her phone and begs for her to come home or even worse a controlling man who forces her to stop her fun and run back home.

Do not be either of them guys.

Both of you need to have friends outside of your relationship, it sets a healthy balance between you two.

Your woman should not work, you must retire her

I will not lie, you must build your own business and retire both yourself and your woman. She should not have a manager or a boss, her boss needs to be you.

Women work all their lives until retirement, and in this day of age, that is the worst thing her man can allow.

If you love your woman you should have enough drive in you to build a business where she should never work again in her life.

She will be your assistant and that is that.

Not going to the office every day, none of that.

There are a million and one ways to build wealth for yourself, I will not go into details in this post as this is strictly about relationship advice for men.

You can do your research on how to earn passive income and later on turn it into a full-time business.

When I see a husband and his wife is 50 years old and working 2 jobs in my opinion you have failed her, period.

Women are not cut out to be working this long, they operate much better in life when you are the boss and they do everything in their power to help you and have absolute freedom for their own life.

The 10 commandments in a relationship

Do not become controlling, she needs her own space to breathe
Do not get lazy and fat, she needs to know you still have your ambition
Do not be stingy with money, buy her gifts and take her on holidays
Do not make promises you cannot keep, your word should be your bond
Do not argue with your woman, you’ll never win; prove your worth with action
Do not be jealous, you must remain the high-value man she fell for in the beginning
Do not become needy, focus on your mission.
Do not make her do all the house stuff, you must get involved and help out every time.
Do not become boring, doing the same things every day. She needs new experiences
Do not forget about your health. It’s your job to keep yourself and your woman healthy

The differences between the way a man and women speak

Men - Overt communication ( Straight to the point, direct speech )

We as men are raised to get straight to the point in our conversations, sometimes being brutally honest and blunt.

This is the best way for men to get their point across to one another because it builds credibility, and honesty and builds rapport between men.

However, women do not speak this language and prefer a more subtle way of conversation.

Women struggle to speak overtly and the only times they do is when they have exhausted their capabilities to speak covertly.

Do you know why women throw fits and get emotional with you? Because they tried speaking to you covertly but you didn’t listen.

Now they are forced to speak in your masculine way ( that’s when the whole hell breaks loose) but they genuinely cannot speak the way we men can.

Women - Covert communication ( Indirect, implicit )

Women speak in an indirect language, they give hints and use different tones to get their point across.

They do not speak in a direct tone so this throws men off their centre and leaves us confused about what women want to say.

Women speak with their eyes, body language and tone of voice.

When a woman gets masculine they cannot hack it, they hate using overt communication to get their point across ( men’s way of speaking ).

When a man is feminine and not doing what he’s supposed to do, a woman has no other option but to speak in overt communication.

So men please, do your job and do not let your woman become masculine; she will hate you for it. Do not raise your voice at her and keep your composure at all times.

Conclusion

Taking your time to learn about the nature of a man and a woman is one of the greatest wisdom investments you can make in 2025.

Let this year be the year when you finally understand how to become a high-value man and treat your woman with nothing but the utmost respect.

So in quick summary:

Your goal as a man is to provide everything your woman needs & desires
You & your woman must have a social circle of friends outside of your relationship
You must retire your woman, the quicker the better
You must dismiss the dad bod lie, get in a very good shape
You are a symbol of success, pursue success in everything you do
Your woman is a mirror if you, do not become bitter or depressed; she will too
You do not chase women, a woman chooses you; you will know when that happens
You must learn the covert and overt conversation differences